Wednesday, March 07, 2007
How do you be happy for others? I guess I kind of know how to be happy for other's good happenings. However, everytime I see them happy, the little green monster called jealousy always pops up and create trouble for me.
I should be happy when one of my best friends got her wish and was accepted to NYJC. It's just that, I can't help but wonder why she was so lucky to have a teacher appealing for her to be accepted into NYJC. Is there no one who truly cares if I make it into the JC of my choice? Perhaps there are people silently cheering me on but yet I can't help but feel depressed that no one can truly help me out in this crisis. Yes, I know there are my family and friends helping me in many ways that they can think of but it's not enough to secure me a place in the JC that I desire.
YJC. I had really thought that I would be able to leave this school and get into the school of my dreams. However, all hopes were dashed when I saw the posting results that was flashed across my computer screen yesterday. There's really nothing wrong with this school. Perhaps the higher you aim, the greater the disappointment is. The greater the disappointment is too when everyone around you is getting into the schools that you had applied for. Now, looking at my results slip, I question myself for no achieving a grade as good as them. I really like my score, after all, I believe that I have done my best in the 'O' level examinations. Unfortunately, doing your best is just not enough. Even if I had done my best, I just am not good enough to get into the schools of my choice.
Just yesterday, I was even considering the route of going directly into university to get a degree. It would not only allow me to be prepared for the working society but also allow me to graduate earlier than my peers. However, my parents and my elder sister are not so keen on this choice, therefore I may not even be able to consider this route. Poly application ends tomorrow, therefore I'll be stuck with the JC route. My family is unable to afford for overseas studies and so going overseas to study is not an option for me
My head starts to trob the moment I think about this. One wrong step and my future may be ruined! Why is it that people who did not do as well as you did could get into the JC that you've applied for just because their secondary schools are affliated to that JC or because they have bonus points deduction from higher chinese? Why can people not need to score as well as you to get into the same JC as you because they are entering through Direct School Admission (DSA) and only need to score 20 points and below? Why is there even such a thing as IP? Many top JCs are difficult to enter because IP students get to enter them without requiring to sit for their 'O' levels examination. Take RJC for example. Students with 6 points can't even get into RJC because after points deduction for CCA, they get 4 points, however, 1 point away from the cut-off point, 3! It is because of such cases that many students are unable to enter that JCs that they had chosen as first choice. Even students with 10 points can't enter SAJC's science stream because they do not have any bonus points to be deducted to reached the cut-off point of 8!
Isn't it supposed to be based on merits? Sometimes, I wish that schools would do away with the affliation or DSA or IP systems and accept students according to the academic results that the students have achieved!
4:57 AM
