Here I am now, finally, making an effort to link people's blogs to mine but i can only remember a few so these are all that I have so far. Anyway, I've also recently developed an interest in reading blogs.
It was today that I read my sister's blog and I realised that all these years that I had thought that I knew her best, I actually didn't really know her. I thought that we were so close that she would tell me anything and everything that had happened in her life but it turns out that i still do not know many things about her. Just like yesterday, I really believed and hoped that she would call me herself to tell me her results for her 'A' levels. I waited and waited but she never called. I tried to call her but she had her handphone turned off. I had to wait in agony throughout the rest of the school day till night before she finally told her results to my dad through an sms. I tried to understand her actions by reasoning with myself that she maybe upset with her results and that she needed time to cool herself down but deep down inside, I was hurt. Even when my call was answered by her, when asked about her results, she just asked me to wait till night ans instantly hung up on me, not even letting me talk to her more.
Anyway, I went onto her blog and read the most recent post and instantly, sadness overwhelmed me. In it, I could almost feel her fear of disappointing us should she not do well in her 'A' levels. However, I could only understand her fears truly through reading her blog. It felt as if I was only learning about her through another person. There was a sense of infamiliarity towards her, as if I had never knew her. Then, thinking back, I finally realised how foreign she has become towards me. Everyday, the only time we see each other is after her work. Sometimes, I don't even see her for one whole day because when she's home, I'm asleep and when I'm up early in the morning for school, she's still asleep. I really miss her a lot.
Sometimes, I wonder. Will we grow even further apart if she starts university? Last night, I heard a conversation between my parents and her about living in a hostel when university starts and I worry that I'll never see her again for a long time even though we're living in he same country. I fear that we'll never be as close as before. I hate this feeling. It feels like I'm losing my sister. This sucks!
10:45 PM
About Me
name? jiamin
b'day? in june... lolx...
horoscope? cancer
about me? i'm just a girl who lOVES to sleep, eat, sleep! hahax! ok, and well, maybe crapping too... lolx...
